Friday, March 25, 2005

No Game, No Digists, No Nothin

Ok girls, have you ever been to the bar with a big group of people and you decide to remove yourself from the group and two of you go up to the bar for drinks? The infamous male and his friend see you together without your guy friends/boyfriends around and decide you're free game. My favorite pick up line was from a few months back when Vanessa and I were at Bar Review with Alex and a bunch of his friends from school. This guy and his friend start talking to us as I'm ordering drinks. I ordered swiftly, "2 Stoli and Sprites please" and the guys were like, "wow you sure know how to order," speaking to me as if I've never ordered liquor before. The guy looks at my tight zip up hoodie I was wearing (meaning he obviously was checking out my breasts) and saw that it was monogrammed. He looks at me and says, "I bet your name starts with the letter A." And I was like, "wow, you're really smart, how on earth did you ever figure that out?" Vanessa was giggling slightly behind my back so the guys wouldn't see her laughing. I was completely mocking them. They both went on trying to charm us with their wit and we eventually went back to hang out with our table of friends. Guys think they don't know when they are being completely transparent and using ridiculous pick up lines to hopefully get a phone number before the evening is over. Suffice to say that later on in the evening this gentleman proceeded to hit on me directly in front of my boyfriend. Alex watched in complete embarrassment for this guy as he proceeded to try and lead me to believe he was a charmer. Boys think they have game and that they're going to get a phone number on a napkin or on their wrist, or another favorite of mine, a guy once asked me for my number and wanted me to write it on his you know what so when he went home to masturbate he would see my number on his penis. Yea, that'll get you a phone number real fast. I don't know why the pick up lines and the gross analogies to their body parts think that's going to get them phone numbers. I think if guys would think a little less about their anatomy and a little more about what a girl is really saying to him, maybe he'd eventually get that phone number. Girls don't care if you don't have game, we'd actually prefer the ones that don't over the guys that try so hard that they just make complete and utter fools of themselves. We don't care about game or how good you are in bed, just say hi, be nice, and the less game you have the better off you are. Theresa might tell you that I'm completely lying and that yea we do care if you're good in bed, ok she's right we do, but don't put on the act, we don't need it. Just ask Alex to tell you the pen cap story, that's my favorite story of all.


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